The Real Story of "Noahs Ark"

God was sitting around in his lazy boy one day, and he thought to himeself "hmm we need some people. Thus, Adam And Eve were born. So Adam and Eve were walkin around one day on the earth (which by the way had nothing) And adam And Eve were bitchin and complainin bout how there was nothing on this earth. So god gave them animals and trees, but god said "Your Gonna Have To Make Ur Own God damn people.".. So God gave them a blow-up matress and they got rite to fuckin rite away so eve was pregnant with Noah.. 9 mounths later... Noah's mom was a pushin and a strugglin and it was silent and then all of a sudden u head "whaaa" and plop Noah was born. ... 10 years later Noah was walkin round and he found a hose so Noah, being the being the Dumbass That he was, put the hose in the atlantic ocean and turned the knob and drained the ocean onto the grass and land. and god said "Noah u better fix this mess or im gonna kik ur ass". so noah started to flip out (by th way, god didnt want the animals to die, so he gave them water wings) The water wings were almost all used out so god said save the animals or im gonna smite ur ass. Noah was scared Shitless So he cut down a tree and built a canoe. but he relized it was too small so he built a boat, and still figured out that a boat was to small. So he built an ark. Noah went Scuba Diving and he found the hose that started this messand and he emptied the water bak in the ocean and saved the world.